Thursday, October 19, 2017

Microwave Massacre (1983)

Construction worker Donald just wants a normal sandwich, but his wife May wants to expand her culinary expertise. She whips up complex inedible dishes for Donalds lunch and dinner.  Oddly enough, Donald doesn't just throw the lunch away and buy a sandwich at the lunch wagon.

One night he comes home drunk. When he gets in a fight with May about her cooking, he kills her and stuffs her in the biggest microwave known to man.  The next morning when he realizes what he's done, he hacks her up, wraps her in foil, and throws her in the fridge, which is already filled with foil wrapped food.

When Donald accidentally eats May's arm, he decides it's better than what he's been eating. He shares a sandwich with some friends at work, and they tell him it's tasty but seems a bit old. So Donald starts praying on young women in the area to get tender flesh.

The lead actor is comedian Jackie Vernon, who is probably best known as the voice of Frosty the Snowman, and is essentially a low rent Jackie Mason.  The movie is filled with bad jokes that you'd expect to hear in vaudeville of 1950s movies, and parts of the film seem as if you're watching Jackie do a monologue, complete with supposedly comedic inflections.  There are a couple of sex scenes with topless woman and a fully clothed Jackie writhing on top of them.  No one wants to see that.

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