Sunday, December 20, 2015

Creepshow 3 (2006)

Wait, there's a Creepshow 3?  Why have I never heard of this?  Oh, probably because George Romero and Stephen King have nothing to do with this, and it's crap. Basically two chumps got the rights to the name and tried to make a buck.

The anthology starts with Alice, the story of a pain in the ass teenage girl who ends up in a different dimension every time her father tries to use his new remote control for the tv.  It's pretty gruesome since she gets horrible boils all over her body, but it's pretty stupid also.

Next up is The Radio, about a mild mannered security guard who lives in a dive where pimps and prostitutes dwell.  He buys a radio from a weirdo on the street, and the radio starts telling him what to do to improve his life.  No idea why he goes along with this since it has him climbing into abandoned buildings and stealing cardboard boxes filled with cash, but there you go. Just do what the sexy voiced radio says.

Third we get the Call Girl, who is also a serial killer.  She gets a call from a young man who turns out to be something other than he appears.

The Professors Wife is about an old professor visited by two former students, who he's invited to his upcoming wedding.  When they meet his fiancé, who is more than half his age, they aren't sure what to think.  But based on his work in robotics, and his penchant for pranks, they decide she must be a robot and set out to dismantle her.

Lastly, we have the Haunted Dog, which is the story of an arrogant, callous doctor who is doing community service at a free clinic.  On the way there, he gives a homeless man a hotdog that was dropped in the dirt. The man chokes on it, as the doctor ignores cries from passersby for a doctor. Soon the doc is seeing visions of the dead man offering him a hotdog.  Ooooo, isn't that scary boys and girls?

Well, it's obvious why this isn't well known. The characters are jerks and the stories aren't very good. They manage to have each tale intertwine by throwing characters into the background of other stories, making them overlap. But other than that sort of interesting schtick, it's a dud.

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