Thursday, June 11, 2015

Storm of the Dead (2006)

After a category five hurricane hits Florida, the government activates the Florida militia to keep the peace. Their main job seems to be tracking down looters with instructions to either arrest them, or kill them if they resist. But when three of the militia kill a young man whose grandmother is a voodoo queen, they come to an untimely end.

Meanwhile back at militia headquarters, Dani a middle aged female soldier and Red an ambiguously gay male have an arm wrestling match which ends in with a very awkward interaction involving threats and sexual harassment. The lily livered male trembles as he says, "You're scaring me."   So he ought to be a great resource on any mission.

The Captain of  militia assigns our hero Hutchinson on a top secret mission. He is to lead a search party into the swamps to find the three team members who went missing.  Since there have been no casualties in the militia since the enactment of martial law, Hutchinson is instructed that if he discovers the men are dead, he needs to keep it quiet.   Counter intuitive to these orders, he is also commanded to take local weather girl Lisa Hicks on the mission. Because nothing says keep this under wraps like bringing along a news person with a video camera.

The group goes tromping through the swamps and woods looking for the missing men.  In fact, be prepared for a lot of walking because you'll see more than enough of it padding out this movie.  There's also a lot of sitting around, making small talk, and painful banter by characters that aren't that interesting.

This movie is a typical low budget video. For the most part, the acting would be at home in a local amateur theater. There are some awkward scenes where it sounds like people are reading their lines because they're trying too hard.  There is also a scene where they open a shed door to reveal an unflattering shot of a naked woman.  It adds insult to injury when they hurriedly shut the door.

Sometimes the sound gets so low that you can't hear the dialogue. You can't understand anything said by the hurricane reporter at the beginning of the film because there's too much wind.  Later there are more dialogue problems when a character pronounces the word amulet as emlet. I'm not sure if it was due to his mumbling, or he truly didn't know how to pronounce it.

Based on the title and a description which stated all hell would break lose when the voodoo queen lost her grandson, it sounded like there would be more than one zombie in the film. And it's a voodoo zombie, which are the lesser of the types of zombies. I can't even remember if he kills someone or just munches on an arm that his voodoo grandma ripped off one of her victims.

Note that his microphone in a plastic bag.  So that and the
wind are probably why you can't hear a word he says. 
The credits are filled with photos from real disasters.
The female militia likes to arm wrestle while wearing a bikini
Floating head of self satisfaction
The militia's... lodge?
The face paint is surprisingly effective camouflage
Yikes! I wasn't expecting that.
Optical illusion - it's a little alien with no arms or legs 
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!
Stock footage of a gator? We got it.

No comments: