Monday, July 14, 2014

Pelt (2010)

A group of obnoxious friends - that you'll want to punch in their collective throats - hires a guide to take them to the Boneyard. They never mention exactly what the Boneyard is, but it's a two hour hike and they talk about rappelling, so I assume it's some sort of climb.

Their creepy guide decides to take a short cut, which they've been told not to take because it is on private property. Other than one guy, no one is concerned about this.  But what they don't know is that all the no trespassing signs have been removed by the guide,  so that they won't have to worry about trespassing.

After setting up camp, people either head into the woods to be alone, or sit around the fire.  In the morning, the three people  in camp discover that all their gear has been stolen and those that went into the woods never came back, including their guide.

Well damn, don't go on private property in the middle of nowhere, especially when the dirty gas station attendant (who you mocked) warned you not to go there. I'm sure no one expects to be slaughtered when they trespass, but there's a reason those signs are up and it may be for your own good.

This is one of those films where all the characters are jerks. They're irritating, arrogant, and obnoxious. If I dislike all the characters, then I'm not going to care if they die.  There's no reason to like them and without any background on these random a-holes, there's no empathy for them, especially when they're rude, condescending, and mock others.

Plus it's unclear why their guide wandered off in the night, didn't come back, but later turns up at the killer's shack.  He says he's going to stack some wood.  Was this literally stacking wood for the fire? Is it a euphemism?  Was he supposed to say he was going to saw wood, i.e. going to sleep? I have no idea, but he's a weirdo and who knows what he was doing alone in the woods at night. 

Annoying Dialogue-
Obnoxious guy - "Beer!.... I've got to get some suds inside of me..... Beer!..... Beer!... Beer!"
Skanky girl - "He's doing that thing again"
Annoying girl - "What thing?"
Ethnic guy - "Check it out. The only thing he's going to say is beer till his drink gets here."

Guide - "This is a private conversation."
Biker - "Really. Why don't you come over here and have a private conversation with the front of my pants."
Ethic guy (sounding hurt) - "Come on man, that was uncalled for."

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