Sunday, July 3, 2011

Dead Noon (2007)

A large cowboy kidnaps a girl and tells her the story of Frank, an evil gunslinger who dies, goes to hell, and beats Satan at cards which earns him a return to Earth. Once back, Frank goes to Boothill to revive his posse using his new powers of the undead. This leads to the question, shouldn't Frank revive his gang rather than the posse as they would be the ones who brought him to justice? Someone needs to learn the language of the Old West.

Cut to present day where Sheriff Logan Kane is going on his honeymoon and has given brother Stuart his badge. Stuart is bitter about always being second to Logan. Perhaps it is because he's sort of self absorbed, such as when he gets a desperate call from a deputy being chased by the undead posse and is completely cavalier about the need to help.

Even though Logan is on his honeymoon, he's decides the town needs him. His poor bride expresses her disapproval (and who can blame her?) as Logan turns the truck around. Then all of a sudden his brothers girlfriend (who is in love with Logan) is in the car. Huh? Where'd his wife go? Is this a dream? Is the girl wishing she were with him? Nope, it's just bad continuity. So at the 35 minute mark, we've probably seen 15 minutes of story and 20 minutes of people running around or shooting guns.

The movie is full of people making bad decisions. Okay, you're in the middle of the desert. Ahead in the road, there is a dead gunman. To the left and right, there are dead gunmen who have skulls for heads. They're approaching each side of your car. What do you do? The girl in this situation gets out of her car and runs away. Seriously? Oh movie, what is wrong with you?

And why do the hunters shoot the undead guy when he walks up to them? They don't realize he's already dead and freak out thinking that they killed someone. So then why did they shoot him? It makes no sense.

But I think the biggest question mark revolves around Frank's quest to kill Logan. All he cares about is exterminating Logan because he is the great great grandson of Frank's old west nemesis, Sheriff Kane. Um, so why doesn't he just kill Stuart? Since he's Logan's brother he would also fit the bill. Plus he's not so smart so he's a much easier target.

The film is filled with cgi blood and fire. There is a kid in a barn who keeps doing unnecessary flips while trying to escape the undead. And the driving scenes look like something out of the 1960s with a projection screen behind them to show landscape outside the truck. Also the beginning and ending with Kane Hodder as the large cowboy was apparently added later which explains why it makes no sense.

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