Friday, August 17, 2007

Flight of the Fury (2006)

A bloated Steven Seagal plays John, a super special awesome Navy Seal who teaches other Navy Seals how to fly the X77, a top secret experimental stealth fighter which becomes completely invisible (gasp!) John is called in by "Eduards Air Force Base" because the pilot who took the stealth plane out for a test, stole it to sell to a foreign faction for tons of money.

I was prepared for confusion since Seagal is the writer. And after the last movie, it wasn't a big surprise to have someone else dub Seagal's voice at random points in the movie. But what I wasn't prepared for is that the most spectacular fantabulous Navy Seal in the world would have no sense of discretion. Instead of hiding the bodies of guards he's killed, he leaves them in plain sight, and instead of opening border gates, he drives right through them after killing the guards. How can this man be a super secret excellent Navy Seal? He's just plain sloppy.

Also the best elite military man in the universe should be more careful when he kills three robbers in a convenience store, especially when his actions are ham fisted and result in the death of the clerk. Seagal is so over the top that half way through the movie I felt like I was watching Will Sasso's Seagal impression on Mad Tv. Seagal has officially become a caricature of himself.

If you want to watch Steven Seagal movies, this certainly meets the criteria. But there's not much else to recommend it.

My favorite awkward lines from the film are:
1. "It's got technology that scares even the shit out of us."
2. "I don't know what they paid him, but whatever they paid him, it was a dump truck full of cash."
3. "Navy Seals are locked and loaded and ready to jump."

and I'm not positive about this because it sounds so stupid, but it's what I heard.
4. Did anyone see you? "Me. I'm scheduled not to be followed."

No comments: