Saturday, December 7, 2013

Zombie Nation (2004)

A cop with a strange accent has a habit of pulling over women who haven't done anything, handcuffing them, driving them to a furniture warehouse, taking them inside, and forcing them to buy crap cut rate furniture. Well I lied about the last part - instead the women are never seen again.  Surprisingly his partner sits in the car the whole time and barely questions the human sized duffel bag our bad cop throws into the trunk.

When the partner mentions this odd happening to his wife and another new recruit, they are concerned.  When the new recruit reports it to his supervisor, the storyline with the new partner and his pregnant wife ends and we never see them again.

The new recruit is given the bad cop as his new partner and the weirdness continues.  The bad cop picks up a woman for jaywalking. But what he didn't realize is that she had just left a voodoo ceremony and for some unknown reason the voodoo ladies bring this lady back to life, along with all of his other victims. Yes, all five of his victims. It's a true zombie nation.

The problem is you'd never know they were zombies since they look like raccoons or someone going to a Souixsie Sioux concert in the early 1980s. The only way we know they're zombies is that they tell us so. Yes, that's right, they tell us.  Not only do they have no zombie attributes, they have perfect speech patterns.

So if you're expected a zombie nation, which implies an entire nation of zombies, well, you're going to be disappointed because the nation consists of five women with raccoon eyes.  And they are not typical zombies. They drive cars, talk, want to dance, have clean clothes, and are able to find employment.  Also they're not so bright, which is revealed when they see the killer and duck to hide, but hide on the side of the car he can see.

This is horrible, sometimes funny, disgusting, repulsive, ridiculous, but always terrible. The acting, dialogue and sets are all unacceptable.  The police station is a huge room with partitions and pipes on the walls, and the paint only goes so high. Is this a basement or boiler room? And voodoo priestesses who advise the zombies that instead of eating people they should be eating cheeseburgers? Yeah, that's a great idea.

Bad set - note the door was cut crooked
Bad makeup - two of the zombies
Bad set - The police station - note the white paint
on the left that just stops, the cheap partition, the
massive pipes, and the plush couch on the right. 

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