Monday, February 4, 2013

Legion of the Dead (2005)

A professor and some students go to a top secret archaeological dig site where a mummy's tomb has been uncovered. Now you'd expect this to be in Egypt, but oh no my friend, it's in California.  There is some lame explanation involving banishment and sailing across the ocean during mummy times to try to explain this peculiarity, but I'm not buying it.

The tomb has cement floors, the walls have hieroglyphics that look like they were done by junior high school art students, and the bottom of the walls appears to be wainscoting that resembles a picket fence painted red and blue with some stars at the top in some kind of bad shabby chic decor.

Molly is invited to the dig by the professor, and shows up without bringing a change of clothes. Huh? Her little sister drives out the next day, but won't arrive till late morning.  So Molly lets the professor know she'll have to come in late. Seriously?  She can't wear the same clothes for a half a day?  It's not like any of her  clothing is appropriate for a dig. Her sister brings her short shorts, and off the shoulder shirts.

When the Mummy comes back to life, she takes over one of the people on the dig to help get minions to perform ritual. Oh no!  This leads me to wonder how many mummys do you need to qualify as a legion?  I hope it's six because that's all she has.  Pretty soon mummies are showing up in the most unlikely of places, including their motel.

Funniest moment in the film is when the lady mummy comes back to life and wanders into Molly's hotel room.  Molly, who is fluent in many languages, tries to determine her native tongue by asking  questions in different languages, while her younger sister stares at them.  When Molly desperately tries the language of ancient Egypt and the lady responds, Molly incredulously says, "Oh it can't be - she's speaking a language that no one's spoken in hundreds of years!" Seriously?  So are you!

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