Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Dragon Crusaders (2011)

Templar Knights rescue a town which is being attacked by pirates and discover the pirates have kidnapped one of the women.  The pirates boat appears to be deserted and they complete their rescue.

However the woman has cursed the boat. Whoever boards the vessel that has spilled blood will turn into a gargoyle.  The amount of time it takes to turn depends on how good or evil the man.  This is why there were no pirates on board as they all turned immediately into gargoyles.

The woman got the spell from a book she stole from the Black Dragon Sorcerer.  The Knights, who wish to be released from the spell, give search for the sorcerer.  They can also be released by killing the woman, but since they are honorable Knights that's not an option... for most of them.

Surprisingly the Knights are not twenty something hunks, but  middle aged or older.

Watch for the continuity error when the large Knight with the Moe haircut is left behind to guard the girl, and is then seen walking into the village with the rest of the Knights.

Also check out the rope (is that nylon?) they use to get up to the cage hung from the ceiling.  Even more ridiculous, when swinging down from the cage, they cut the rope at the top!?!  This should cause a Don Martin-Mad Magazine type Splat into the cave floor since that means it's only attached to the floor now.  But nope, she swung down just fine.

All the characters reminded us of other actors or tv characters. We tagged them as Bjork, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Seth McFarland, Moe, Robert Plant (with black hair) or Sir John Gielgud (with black hair).  It's an Asylum movie which means it can be tedious.  Who'd have thought dragons could be tedious?  Also there aren't that many dragons in it.

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