Sunday, August 21, 2011

The Curse of Lizzie Borden

Cassie is taking a summer class on American Folklore where one of the study topics is Lizzie Borden. Her professor decides to take the class on a completely pointless field trip to Josiah Moodys house so Moody can test out his tourist rap. His house is a tourist attraction with original artifacts from Lizzie and Moody wants to practice his patter to make sure people are willing to pay for a tour.

Moody is planning a Halloween tour with someone dressed as Lizzie with an ax. Cassie is offered the job and immediately moves into Moodys house. Soon she intermittently believes she actually is Lizzie. She talks strangely, alienates her boyfriend, and decides to use a real ax for a prop.

Moody thinks she really into her character until he awakes in the middle of the night to find her standing over him. Next the viewer thrills to the sight of an overweight man moving slowly down the stairs as Cassie treads slowly behind him with an ax.

When Lizzie possesses Cassie, she claims she will have her revenge on the town folk for accusing her of a crime she didn't commit and ruining her life. Then she starts killing her friends, even though I'm not sure how that figures into her pact with Satan. So.... Lizzie's revenge is to kill innocent college students who don't live anywhere near her hometown? It's not like she's taking her revenge out on anyone's descendants. These are just a bunch of stupid college kids.

Funniest lines -
Cassie stating that she hates her stepmom because, "She's like half my age and a total bitch." So... her stepmom is ten?

When Cassie tells her roommate shes moving out and staying with Moody, her roommate responds, "I can't live here all alone. It's a two bedroom."

This a is super low budget movie and it shows. It was so bad that I got some enjoyment out of it because it's so ridiculous. Here is just some of the silly things I observed:
  1. Moodys death involves him saying (not yelling), "Ahhhhh" after he is hit with the ax.
  2. Every time the ax hits him, there is a metallic sound like a trampoline or old springs. It made me laugh out loud.
  3. Lizzie sells her soul to the devil for revenge because shes innocent.
  4. The professor warns the class that Moody is eccentric, and in this case eccentric means can't act.
  5. Moody mispronounces Massachusetts.
  6. I'm still not sure if Moodys hair is a wig.
  7. the reenactment of the killings is historically inaccurate, yet there is no reason for changing the murder locations.
  8. Whenever some is killed, cups full of fake blood are thrown from off screen onto the people and walls.
  9. Why does Cassie move into Moodys when she takes the job? Couldn't she remain in her own apartment? And what sort of nut moves into the house of someone they just met?
  10. No tourist attraction would leave a tour guide without any training alone on the first day of the job.
  11. They're using a real ax in a haunted tourist attraction. What could possibly go wrong?
  12. Cassie claims she is Lizzie, but also says she invited everyone to the house because they're her closest friends - which is it?
  13. When Lizzie hits a girl, there is blood on her ax. When she raises the ax again, it is clean.
  14. The three stooges routine - two duck, third gets hit by ax - bad writing or a tribute?
  15. When Cassie is elbowed in the face and drops the ax, no one picks it up. Duhr!
  16. Her friends state they are worried about Cassie and agree to meet. They don't.

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