Thursday, May 26, 2011

Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010)

Lt. McCormick is a naval engineer who is an expert on sharks and believes Mega Shark is still alive. The Admiral doesn't believe McCormick which is a shame since the next thing you know Mega Shark destroys the ship. McCormick's girlfriend dies and then the shark kills everyone else on board except McCormick (who is played by Steve Urkel).

Meanwhile in the Congo diamond mines, the Crocosaurus is accidentally unleashed on an unsuspecting world and eats everyone in sight. To figure out what happened at the deserted mine, the company hires crocodile expert Nigel Putnam, a cut rate Indiana Jones with a questionable accent.

The military brings together McCormick, Putnam, and Special Agent Hutchinson, a lady who acts like an angry robot. Along with the navy, they pursue the two creatures who are battling it out with each other when not killing people.

The sizes of the shark and croc are inconsistent and change based on what is convenient. The crocosaurus comes out of the diamond mine, yet when a worker runs inside it to hide, the croc can only get a foot in there. Similary the shark has a fin bigger than the ship, but then jumps over the boat and is obviously not as large.

The cgi is really bad even for this type of movie. Also the ending involves a volcano.

The funniest scenes -
  1. The crocosaurus knocks a helicopter out of the air with it's tail. The copter crashes on the beach leaving Hutchinson unconscious, while Putnam and McCormick run off to track the creatures. Later at a key moment, Hutchinson and the copter fly up to rescue our two heroes. Huh? So.... where did they get a new copter? Also it's not really wise to trust a pilot who was recently knocked out and has a gaping head would. Concussion anyone?
  2. The woman who hires Putnam leads him into the jungle wearing a pencil thin skirt and stiletto heals. how can she even walk?
  3. Putnam kills an animal and straps it to his back to carry it. It is obviously very light, but even worse it's legs are stiff and in the stance that you'd see when an animal is in a museum. So they just tied a taxidermy specimen to his back.

No comments: