Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Pirates of Ghost Island (2007)

In 1865 some pirates hid in a cave on a deserted island to wait for a rendevous with a ship after searching for treasure. The pirates were extremely clean with spotless clothing and their wench kept a diary. Unfortunately sorcery was afoot and some rudimentary special effects did something bad to the pirates.

Back to the present, where some kids wake up on the beach of this island and have no idea where they are or how they got there. Neither do we as this is where we meet them. Apparently they were drunk on a graduation cruise and somehow ended up dry and stranded on the island.

They find a tent and start eating the food in it without a thought of looking for the person who owns the tent. All the characters are annoying and there is a blond girl with an accent that I could not place. One of the girls, Sarah, looks like the pirate wench who just happens to be her ancestor. She becomes possessed by her spirit off and on, and they find the diary in the cave.

Soon the kids start meeting ghosts of pirates who kill whoever they can get their hands on. The rest of the film is full of bad pirate accents saying things like, Aye matey, tis a good time for me wench to bring ale to a thirsty old pirate.

The footage seems to go from film to video at random times and sometimes the background noise of the surf makes it hard to hear the dialogue. In the stupidest death in the movie, the girl with the accent walks through the woods and gets stuck in some thin branches. It looks like something out of an Ed Wood movie as she frantically moves the branches around and screams as someone pours bright red tempera-paint-like blood on her. Also after Dutch dies, if you look carefully you can see him breathing.

Near the end of the film, there is a conversation that is completely out of place. Brad tells Sarah that he has lost his college scholarship and is joining the military to prepare for his future. Sarah bitterly responds, "what about us?" Are you kidding me? Your friends have been slaughtered, supernatural beings are trying to kill you, but you're wallowing in self pity because your boyfriend is trying to secure his future? How could that thought even cross your mind at a time like this?

No comments: